Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He felt like a one man threesome
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
