I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize