Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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