Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
what day is it and did you see me today?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
