Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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