his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
