I'm going to rape someone's good day.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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