garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
