Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
