AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
