so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
