Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
