Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
