I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
