just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
