I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
