My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
