Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Randomize
