So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
