The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
