I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
