The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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