She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
