Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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