Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
