you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
