found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
