I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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