If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
