remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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