my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
