return my video game
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
