i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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