i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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