this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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