oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
