How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
