i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
