I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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