we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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