I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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