I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
