i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Kiss
Puke
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
