He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
