So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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