when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
