Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
