that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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