I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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