dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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